Comments on: Do You Fake It on Facebook?

By: Bruce

Bruce — Wed, 19 May 2010 15:54:47 +0000

For example, your online persona on Facebook will almost certainly never have “Bill the customer” or “Bill interacting with a homeless person”, if only because they don’t (tend to) exist in online social networks.

By: Tamara Hutchison

Tamara Hutchison — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:43:20 +0000

Well put Crystal. That is why I only allow people I actually know to be able to access my Facebook account. Makes for less judging because there is already that healthy relationship existing first. However, in saying that….people are still human and Bill and I have been hit with that a bit lately….. Friends who we thought were in fact “friends”, yet still judging us by what we put on FB as being the be all and end all. They would prefer to judge our statements and gossip (and we have been told in person about this) than actually make a more direct contact to find out in person (and for themselves) what the real case is.

Even in saying that…we do reserve ourselves when we put comments up for that exact reason, but it still backfires. I have been close to canning online sharing so many times, but then it prevents others (those who really are interested and will accept us for who we are and what we do) from being kept aware etc…

I liked reading your feedback.

By: Crystal Walker

Crystal Walker — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 21:47:28 +0000

You raise interesting points. Most definitely, a one-sentence status line doesn’t say a lot about us – and yet it does say a lot about us. That sounds contradictory. What I mean is this: a one-sentence status line does not express our history, our experiences, our real pain or joy. But it does express our worldview. At the very least, it expresses what we believe about privacy issues online; at the most, it expresses where we are at a given point in time, and our lack of discretion with our language choices or our feelings sometimes gives out more than we intend to give out.

For instance, a lot of people I know write status lines about how angry they are at someone. With teenagers, they write about how they hate their mother, wish she would give them privacy; some write about their friends or enemies and make blanket statements like, “Why should I trust anyone anymore since you can’t keep my secrets?” Such statements are often blatantly directed at someone, and (according to teens) most comments that are “secretly” directed at them are quite obvious to their keen eyes.

With adults, at least those of our generation, we tend to be more reserved and don’t necessarily make statements directed at others. Sometimes we do, and those statements are easily read into by others. So while those statements may not express “who we really are,” they do often express how we really think – which is, in essence, who we really are.

I don’t know. Status lines can be frustrating and I often shake my head, thinking, “why share so much?” or “how can you slander your family/friends online like this?” or “does everyone really need to know that?” I’ve probably done it too – shared too much or too little. At any rate, I do think we are somewhat revealed by our status lines.

After all, if someone did not know us and had only our status lines or facebook comments to determine whether or not we followed Christ, could they accurately determine that?

By: Debbie Erickson Cushing

Debbie Erickson Cushing — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:02:00 +0000

Most people only put the *good* on their FB. Good photos, good vacations. good everything. Sometimes I get so jealous! Really knowing the person helps. Even tho I don't know you well, I find you to be honest about your feelings, honest about your challenges and honest about your family. It isn't all good, it's honest! As far as what Ryan is trying to say… way over my head! But I love him for writing it!

By: Tamara Hutchison

Tamara Hutchison — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:49:00 +0000

Thanks for the recap. Yep, the bad thing IS when people do treat people according to their facebook status and act as if their status and other comments are the be all and end all. Of course judging IS going to happen you are right. People need to reach out more in person than rely on what they see written on such social networks etc…Naturally the reaching out in person thing isn't going to always work…not with so many varied locations of people, but cut the judgement and reach out to those who are hurting, pray for them, share in their joy when good news comes. I will stop there.

By: Ryan 'Sleevi' Sleevi

Ryan 'Sleevi' Sleevi — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:35:00 +0000

Sure, the recap is1) It's impossible, but it's also impossible in face-to-face interaction2) We all do. And it's ok – it's not a bad thing unless we refuse to adapt to new information.

By: Ryan 'Sleevi' Sleevi

Ryan 'Sleevi' Sleevi — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:32:00 +0000

As for judging, well, I think we all do it, by nature of our evolutionary/acquired social skills. Our brain is such that learning is predicated by patterns and predictions (as at least one major theory states, at least). So we're hard-wired to make predictions (stereotypes) of people based on what we see them do online.The real trick is to allow those stereotypes to be malleable, and don't rely to heavy on them. It's only when we refuse to adapt to new information (eg: I thought they were a jerk but I was just misreading them vs I thought they were a jerk and so I treat them as such) that it becomes a bad thing

By: Tamara Hutchison

Tamara Hutchison — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:31:00 +0000

Ryan…I've lost you. Do you think you could sum up what your saying in maybe one paragraph so I get what you are meaning?

By: Ryan 'Sleevi' Sleevi

Ryan 'Sleevi' Sleevi — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:30:00 +0000

So in direct response to your questions, I think it means that no, it is impossible for someone to get a full picture of who anyone is online – just as it is impossible for someone to get a full picture of who someone is in real life (After all, few people in your bowling league may see "Bill at a family reunion", which arguably is part of who you are)

By: Ryan 'Sleevi' Sleevi

Ryan 'Sleevi' Sleevi — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:28:00 +0000

For example, your online persona on Facebook will almost certainly never have "Bill the customer" or "Bill interacting with a homeless person", if only because they don't (tend to) exist in online social networks.