Most parent’s would probably admit that Colossians 3 verse 20 is one of their favourites to quote to their kids. I know that I’m a fan…
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Col 3:20 NIV
Lately I have been challenged by the verse that follows which says:
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Col 3:21 NIV
This is a challenging statement and it is telling that it comes immediately after telling the children to obey their parents.
As parents we have a huge responsibility for our children
God wants us to teach our children to love Him and His truth.
We need to teach our children that they can talk to God through prayer and can have a personal relationship with Him.
We are to teach them contentment with what God provides and excitement for what God has planned.
We also need to teach them that they have value in God’s eyes and that God has a plan and a purpose for their life.
While teaching and discipling our children in the way of the Lord we must also not embitter them.
What can embitter our children?
- Destructive criticism
- Overprotection
- Showing favouritism
- Not teaching and showing them that they have value
- Setting unrealistic goals
- Not showing affection
- Not meeting their needs
- Not having standards or boundaries
- Showing indifference or neglecting them
- Disciplining out of anger and not love
If I am honest with myself I can admit that I stuff up, a lot, as a parent. I look at what it takes to raise children and I can feel overwhelmed sometimes by the enormity of it all. They aren’t tasks or projects, they are people. They are created in the image of God, a God who has a plan and a purpose for their lives, and a God who trusted them with me as their Dad!
As parents we can always get better at what God has called us to do. We can read books, compare notes with other parents, and try harder. We can also pray.
God can give us grace and wisdom if we ask for it. This, above all other things, gives me hope for my children’s future…
Some more reading about Colossians 3:21:
How about this one: treating children unjustly.
I can remember both at home and at school the general sentiment that “life isn’t fair” therefore we don’t need to worry about being just when it comes to dealing with children. (Unjust punishments, unjust resolutions of disputes, unjust treatment of property, etc.)
Perhaps this would fit as a complement to “not having standards or boundaries.” It could be said as “not teaching your children to have proper boundaries” and “not respecting your children in their developing boundaries!”
Good article topic by the way. There is so much emphasis on “submission to authority” in the Christian World, every now and then someone should bring up the proper exercise of authority!
🙂