The Real vs The Right Answer

I know that we are all guilty of it. We get asked a question and we give the “right” or expected answer, rather than the real or honest answer. When our son does it we call it lying, when we as adults do it we call it being polite.

I’m talking about the answer that we give when someone asks you “How are you doing?”. I lie all the time when I get asked that question. The “right” answer is “I’m doing well thanks.”. To be honest, that is my usual response no matter how I’m actually feeling.

Asking the Question

Because “How are you doing?” has become a common greeting I don’t think that many of us would be prepared if someone were to tell us how they are actually doing! I don’t reckon we are deliberately being disingenuous when we ask, it’s just become so second nature to ask it, we just say it without really thinking. Do we really have the time to listen if someone answers us truthfully and says it how it is? Are we actually willing to take the time to listen if someone were to take the time to tell us how things really are?

Our Response

From the other side, are we willing to be vulnerable and honest and tell someone the truth when they asks us how we are doing? It’s humbling to tell someone that we are struggling, and I reckon that a lot of the time I am not humble enough to answer truthfully.

The thoughts that often go through my mind are:

I’m a Christian Missionary trying to walk in God’s will for my life, everything should be great … shouldn’t it?

or

Why would people support me financially in my ministry if they know I’m struggling personally?

Usually it’s easier to say you’re doing fine than to tell people how you are actually doing. If you struggle for long enough, and are open about it during your struggles, then people may eventually get tired of hearing it and cut you off. We’ve had that happen before, and it hurts when it does …